LAUGHTER IS A NATURAL REMEDY
According to Cartoon Character, CALVIN:
WHY DO CHILDREN MAKE US SMILE?
1) NUDITY ... I was driving with my three young children one warm, summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead Stood up & waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, my 5-year-old shouted from the Back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS... On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP... A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY... A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1... While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well , then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2... It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.'It sure is, ' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the Van . Finally he asked, 'What'd he do?'
7) THE ELDERLY... While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP... A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.''And why not, darling?''You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) FUNERALS... While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'
10) SCHOOL... A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11 ) THE BIBLE... A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.' Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
2) OPINIONS... On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP... A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY... A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1... While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well , then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2... It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.'It sure is, ' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the Van . Finally he asked, 'What'd he do?'
7) THE ELDERLY... While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP... A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.''And why not, darling?''You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) FUNERALS... While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'
10) SCHOOL... A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11 ) THE BIBLE... A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.' Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
NOW, GO PLAY!
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES (NOT)
One can't beat homespun conventional wisdom:
1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables; get someone else to hold while you chop.
1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables; get someone else to hold while you chop.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Set timer; simply cut yourself & bleed for a few minutes.
4. Trouble getting up on time? Place a mouse trap on top of your alarm clock.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; you'll be afraid to cough.
WHAAAT?
OKAY, so you probably don't want to try any of those.
Here's my own homespun wisdom:
If I could only have one item in my medicine chest, it would be P73 Oreganol by North American Herb & Spice. No beating health issues with the less expensive brands. So far, this is the best brand I've come across and I have used several. It is the real stuff from the Mediterranean Sea and it is worth every penny
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P73 Oreganol, just like NONI JUICE, is a tremendous preventative/remedy for many maladies and can be life-changing. Here are some ways to use one of nature's greatest gifts, Super Strength P73 Oregano Oil:
LIQUID
FORM (with dropper)
_Fever blister--1 drop (do not lick lips)
_Muscle strains--5 to 15 drops (depends on muscle size)
_Achy Joints--1 to 15 drops (depends on which joint)
_Acne-1 drop (pat/massage gently)
_Scratches/cuts/boo-boo bruises-1 to 5 drops
_Sore throat--5 drops under the tongue (ADULTS ONLY)*
_Warts--1 drop twice a day (I haven't had good luck with moles)
_Headache--3 drops massaged into each temple/back of neck
_Fungal nails--1 drop under tip of nail a.m./p.m. (plus gel caps)
*Oregano Oil helps babies and children in a beautiful way, but it is too strong for little mouths. It can be used for their sore throats only if it is diluted further in a TABLESPOON of healthy cooking oil (e.g. olive oil, coconut oil) to three drops of oregano oil. They don't have to take the whole Tablespoon at once, but the oregano oil needs to be diluted that much.
LIQUID
FORM (with dropper)_Fever blister--1 drop (do not lick lips)
_Muscle strains--5 to 15 drops (depends on muscle size)
_Achy Joints--1 to 15 drops (depends on which joint)
_Acne-1 drop (pat/massage gently)
_Scratches/cuts/boo-boo bruises-1 to 5 drops
_Sore throat--5 drops under the tongue (ADULTS ONLY)*
_Warts--1 drop twice a day (I haven't had good luck with moles)
_Headache--3 drops massaged into each temple/back of neck
_Fungal nails--1 drop under tip of nail a.m./p.m. (plus gel caps)
*Oregano Oil helps babies and children in a beautiful way, but it is too strong for little mouths. It can be used for their sore throats only if it is diluted further in a TABLESPOON of healthy cooking oil (e.g. olive oil, coconut oil) to three drops of oregano oil. They don't have to take the whole Tablespoon at once, but the oregano oil needs to be diluted that much.
For Cradle Cap (a fungal infection, as is dandruff), I dilute three drops in one Tablespoon of oil or whatever one puts on babies' heads and gently massage. I'm sure to cover their little noggins with a hat, so they don't get their hands in it.
For sniffles, I use liquid Oregano Oil in the middle of their backs or on the bottom of their feet. I Let the oils absorb for a few minutes before replacing their clothes and socks. It will absorb through their skin and get distributed throughout their systems, quickly.
More is not better. The body can only handle up to fifteen drops at a time-over several hours. Also, Oregano is so strong, that it doesn't take much, so no need to waste when the full fifteen drops are not needed.
GEL CAP
FORM (each gel cap contains 5 drops) _Before a starchy meal/Dessert--1 gel cap
_After a starchy meal/Dessert--2 gel caps
_Food poisoning-3 gel caps every hour or so
_Prior to flying/meeting & greeting--2 gel caps
_After flying/meeting & greeting--2 gel caps
_Fungal nails--3 gel caps a.m. & p.m. (plus liquid drops)
_Staph Infections--3 gel caps every four hours
_E-Coli--3 gel caps every hour or two
_MRSA--3 gel caps every hour or two
To repeat, more is not better. While not toxic, the body processes up to fifteen drops of Oregano Oil at a time best. Also, it is so effective, that it doesn't take much; no need to waste.
Experts claim that few, if any, viruses, bacteria or yeast are safe from oregano oil. No reports have been found where any bacteria, microbe, or virus has becomes resistant to oregano oil. That's good enough for me to make sure it is in my arsenal of natural home remedies. Also, a drop or two in sauces and soups is delicious.
Wild-crafted oregano oil, a member of the mint family, leads the pack as an antioxidant, antiseptic and antispasmodic. It is an Omega-3 essential oil and rich in Vitamins A, C & E, calcium, magnesium, zinc, iron, potassium, copper, boron, manganese, and niacin.
My family uses oregano oil in a number of ways: diluted in water or distilled vinegar, as an air sanitizer; one drop in hand washing (rinse well); one drop in the final rinse cycles on our toothbrushes, as well as all of the above. There is no known toxicity or side effects with Oregano Oil. Since Oregano circulates throughout the body quickly, I get a refreshing taste in my mouth, even though I used it on my aching thumb!
So, not only is Oregano a pain killer, a pathogen killer and a general antiseptic, it is nutritious as well. The dried, oregano spice that we sprinkle on pizza, while tasty, is not true Oregano; rather it is Marjoram. Marjoram does not bring the same healing/nutritional punch to the party.
NOTE: These two oregano products are NOT considered 'essential oil' products. Oreganol P73 has been conveniently diluted with olive oil, a carrier oil required for proper absorption. Remember, I always dilute Oreganol P73 further, when using for children and babies.
More about wild-crafted oregano oil and its uses from lowering blood pressure to indigestion to insect bites is in IN HERBAL RENAISSANCE by Steven Foster and THE CURE IS IN THE CUPBOARD by Dr. Cass Ingram.
I've provided a link about these and other N. American Herb & Spice products. The company's history is a good read, as well. N. American Herb & Spice products can be found at most 'Vitamin Shoppe' stores, some health food stores, online and through me. http://www.p-73.com/products.asp?cat=2
THAT'S MY ARGUMENT
T
