LAUGHTER IS A NATURAL REMEDY
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad new is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your scrotum to press on your spine and the pressure is creating your headaches. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years. He realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit!"
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years. Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old!"
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your private parts up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache."
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years. He realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit!"
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years. Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old!"
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your private parts up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache."SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN!
You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb. Well...SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN!
Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!
Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay. The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners.
They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows. The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million.
The cost to adopt a dog at the Maricopa County shelter, neutered, current on all shots, in great health, and a microchip inserted, is under $80.00. The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day.Most of Sherriff Joe's budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals. The rest of the country should take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas.
He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later.
Yup, he was re-elected last year with 83% of the vote. Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens.
Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.
JOE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER & OVER
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ), who created the 'Tent City Jail':
1. Reduced jail meals to 40 cents & charges inmates for them.
2. Prisoners no longer are allowed cigarettes or porno magazines.
3. Took away their weights.
4. Cut off all but 'G' rated movies.
5. Started chain gangs for inmates to do free work on county/city projects.
6. Started chain gangs for women too.
7. He took away cable TV, except Disney & Weather Channels.
8. He cut off coffee.
When the inmates complained, about these 'conditions' he told them 'This isn't the Ritz/Carlton......if you don't like it, don't come back!'
1. Reduced jail meals to 40 cents & charges inmates for them.
2. Prisoners no longer are allowed cigarettes or porno magazines.
3. Took away their weights.
4. Cut off all but 'G' rated movies.
5. Started chain gangs for inmates to do free work on county/city projects.
6. Started chain gangs for women too.
7. He took away cable TV, except Disney & Weather Channels.
8. He cut off coffee.
When the inmates complained, about these 'conditions' he told them 'This isn't the Ritz/Carlton......if you don't like it, don't come back!'
MORE ON THE ARIZONA SHERIFF
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.
On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before. Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their PINK SOCKS. 'It feels like we are in a furnace', said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your mouths!' Way to go, Sheriff!
Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.
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THAT'S MY ARGUMENT,
T
